I am just feeling really content.
God loves me. He is taking care of me. I don't have to worry.
I spent so much time impatiently waiting and watching the clock, expecting God to give me what I think I need right away. When He misses the time that my 'reward,' my wish, or what I think I deserve is due to me, I get upset. Can't deal with. I'm complaining about why I haven't gotten 'this' yet. "I deserve it! I'm having my quiet times, I am praying for my roommate that it doing nothing but hating me, I am loving the people that You want me to love. Why can't You just give me what I want?"
More and more, God is showing me that He does, indeed, know best. He isn't making me wait in order to spite me. He's making me wait in order to grow me. And I'm finding that as I wait, and trust Him with my hopes and desires, He is rewarding me. I feel like God is watching me and saying, "Okay, you got it right that time. I deserve to be first in your life and you put Me first by surrendering your idea of what is supposed to happen in order to fully trust Me." As if having Him provide me with the strength and capability to truly leave Him in that place He so deserves isn't enough of a reward, God is giving me what I wanted.... once i fully trust Him.
Giving my hopes and desires up to Him is kinda nice.
'Cause God is molding and making me.
And He has a perfect plan.
"I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough.
Nothing compares to Your embrace,
Light of the world forever reign!"
