"We're just going to let fate decide whether we go our separate ways?"
My life is a beautiful, chaotic, blessed existence. God is moving and speaking to me in ways that I could only imagine before. Over and over this year, He has been whispering "wait" to me.
You think I would be super excited to hear something so clearly.....
Well. I am, but at the same time I'm thinking:
"Wait? Ugh. Why? I don't want to!"
I just want to know everything and plan out every single detail of my life. I mean it. Every. Single. Detail. I think that if God would just give me some hints, I could figure out everything else and it would be amazing. Waiting is so difficult. It reminds me that I am not the one in control.
God is not revealing everything to me... This frustrates me so much. But waiting also is a blessing. It reminds me of one of the most wonderful things about the relationship I have with God.
He refuses to leave me the way I am.
Yes; He loves me exactly the way I am. He just doesn't want to leave me that way.
Making me wait is just another way that God is shaping me into the woman He wants me to be. I am learning to trust Him in ways that I haven't before.
Although the waiting is hard, I am confident in Christ.
I don't know all the plans He has for me. I have no clue when I will go or what I will be doing in India, if I will ever get married and have children, or whether a person I recently met will be a part of my life. But I know that I serve a God who loves me and who has spectacular plans for me that are so much better than the plans I have for myself.
On this day, I am trying to wait. With God's strength, I am trusting Him and not trying to force things. I am letting Him work without trying to interfere and decide that my way is the best.
So, through the beauty and the chaos, the blessings and the pain, I will wait.