Wait.

"We're just going to let fate decide whether we go our separate ways?"

My life is a beautiful, chaotic, blessed existence.  God is moving and speaking to me in ways that I could only imagine before.  Over and over this year, He has been whispering "wait" to me.  

Wait. 

You think I would be super excited to hear something so clearly..... 

Well. I am, but at the same time I'm thinking: 

"Wait? Ugh. Why?  I don't want to!"

I just want to know everything and plan out every single detail of my life.  I mean it. Every. Single. Detail.  I think that if God would just give me some hints, I could figure out everything else and it would be amazing.  Waiting is so difficult.  It reminds me that I am not the one in control.

Wait.

God is not revealing everything to me... This frustrates me so much.  But waiting also is a blessing.  It reminds me of one of the most wonderful things about the relationship I have with God.  

He refuses to leave me the way I am.

Yes; He loves me exactly the way I am.  He just doesn't want to leave me that way. 

Making me wait is just another way that God is shaping me into the woman He wants me to be.  I am learning to trust Him in ways that I haven't before.

Wait.

Although the waiting is hard, I am confident in Christ.

I don't know all the plans He has for me.  I have no clue when I will go or what I will be doing in India, if I will ever get married and have children, or whether a person I recently met will be a part of my life.  But I know that I serve a God who loves me and who has spectacular plans for me that are so much better than the plans I have for myself.

On this day, I am trying to wait. With God's strength, I am trusting Him and not trying to force things.  I am letting Him work without trying to interfere and decide that my way is the best.

Wait.

So, through the beauty and the chaos, the blessings and the pain, I will wait.