Last Thursday, February 14th, was my 20th Valentine's Day without having that "someone special."
As a child, Valentine's Days were not really difficult. Everyone received cards and candy.
In middle school, it was apparent to me that something was missing. But never fear, I knew I would have a valentine in high school.
High school came and went. No valentines. But of course, I would definitely have a valentine in college.
First year of college started. I had a boyfriend, so the whole valentine thing looked promising. But, we broke up before I even had a chance to finally have a valentine.
Obviously, this Valentine's Day would be terrible... right?
Wrong. Sure, there were moments that were difficult. Both of my roommates had a lovely time with their boyfriends while I snacked on leftover chocolate... Not my idea of a great way to spend this fabulous day. But, due to the imminent danger of discontentment creeping in and ruining my day, I decided to really dive into the Word and see what God had to say about love and my singleness.
A verse that really stuck out to me was Song of Solomon 8:4. "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." This refrain is repeated many times in the book by the bride of Solomon. She has experienced true romantic love and is urging her friends to wait for it. This reminds me of what I am supposed to be doing; waiting. Until the day that God reveals to me the man that He has for me, I am waiting. Until God has given me the okay to give my heart up, I am waiting. Until it is His perfect timing, I am waiting.
Experiencing discontentment about my singleness is not trusting God. Throughout all of those years of being sad without a valentine, my discontentment was caused by anger that God was not sticking to my plans for my life. Because obviously, I have learned in my 19 years that I am so awesome and successful at planning every part of my life. (Read previous sentence with extreme sarcasm :P) Fun fact: I'm not. And usually it doesn't work out at all how I think it is supposed to. But that just goes to show that God often has a different plan for my life. I just have to trust that He knows what He is doing. Whether or not He ever brings me that 'special someone,' I have to remember that He has a beautiful plan for my life.
So, as I am recovering from being made acutely aware of just how single I am, I am reminded of God's intense, unfathomable love for me. It fills me up in a way that romantic love never ever will be able to. And even if He brings me a super godly, super awesome, super hot husband one day, His love will be what is gets me through. For now, I just have to lean back, trust Him, and enjoy the ride as He reveals His plan for me in His timing. I know that some plans I have made for myself will not come to fruition. Like, I am 97% positive that I will not get married at the age of 20. And I'm okay with that; His plan is much, much better than mine anyway. :)